Is my ass supposed to be sore?
Today, my ass took a pounding. This pounding was given to me by a bicycle seat not much bigger than an overzied banana. The offending seat can be seen to the left of this article. This is a “Specialized Hardrock” mountain bike. I got it today and took it for a ride. Or rather, it took me for a ride. Ouch!
It gave me a “fag-flash”. For those who don’t know, a “fag-flash” is one of those times in which one says to oneself “wow, this is what it must feel like to be a fag”. Disclaimer: If you aren’t a fag, a “fag-flash” is a bad thing. A bad thing indeed.
That’s OK though, I had protection. I had a Gyro cranium-condom (aka helmet). Not that it helped my ass though.
Aside from the sore ass it was a fun bike ride. This particular bike can be obtained for about $350. The front-end has a 3″ give to it, and is surprisingly light (for a mountain bike). If you’re to get into mountain biking, give this bike a chance.
August 8th, 2005 at 10:25 pm
I’ve always bought gel seat covers for the bikes I’ve owned. So that my butt wouldn’t hurt. You might want to consider that.
August 8th, 2005 at 10:29 pm
Yeah. something must be done. It’s a travesty.
August 8th, 2005 at 10:30 pm
Having the red-ass is bad news.
August 9th, 2005 at 8:07 am
You know that riding your bike also works your ass muscles. May have something to do with it
August 9th, 2005 at 12:30 pm
Well for any man gay or not the male “G” spot is the prostate. I bet you had a few nice moments… :).. Was the seat 9″ by 6″??
August 9th, 2005 at 12:39 pm
I didn’t have any nice moments, except when I got off… the bike.
August 9th, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Did you ask the guy at the bike store if your body size and frame were right for that bike?
I had a Huffy for almost nine years, which gave me similar “sore ass” problems.
In February, though, the guy at the local bike store here in Florida pointed out my frame (I’m about 6′0 tall) was too big for that bike.
He talked me into a $300 Marin mountain bike, which is bigger, fits my frame better, and is quite comfortable.
I’ve ridden it through some pretty difficult terrain at the nearby state park, and left with bloody, bandaged legs, but no sore ass.
August 9th, 2005 at 1:42 pm
Why would you need to know if the bike was 9″ by 6″? You guys are funny. My bikes always hurt my butt too… but I got gel seat covers, and then no more problems except when people stole it.
When I was a kid…. stealing bikes was a big thing… and their was always a stolen bike in my neighborhoods. So no matter what kind of chain you bought, it was always cut, and the bike was gone.
August 11th, 2005 at 12:01 pm
Ass pounding? Fags? Hmm… ramdac must be letting Dallas’s reknowned cultural diversity soak in. Or is there really some type of homo-erotic thing going on in RAMdac’s “head”?
August 11th, 2005 at 12:03 pm
By the way, I only ride my bike once or twice a month.. but even I knew to get the gel seat. That’s funny comment by CaptainFag… yeah… sometimes that “spot” is affected by the bike seat. That’s why us non-fags (aka, heterosexuals) go an extra half mile… from time to time… he heh
August 11th, 2005 at 12:14 pm
Jason’s not soaking in anything…! I don’t think he goes the extra half mile either. Not on his bike at least.
August 11th, 2005 at 12:24 pm
Okay.. .TMI on guh guh guh Gulledge (re: going the extra half mile in other activities)
August 11th, 2005 at 4:09 pm
ummm you take things wrong… i didn’t mean it that way! You started the whole thing, so anything you think is too much information, you’ve already stated much worse than what you think that i might be saying.
August 11th, 2005 at 10:18 pm
I should delete this article and comment thread. it got out of hand