So you want to be a script kiddie? It is a title bestowed to only the l33test of the l33t. To become a script kiddie you must dig deep within yourself and be determined to follow a few specific rules. These are important for the safety of yourself and your fellow script kiddie friends. Here we go…








1. Firstly, you need a nickname. Every decent script kiddie has an alias. I provide one meaningful way of coming up with that name here:

You must trade at least one letter for a number or non-standard character. The more you swap out, the more "l33t" (elite) you are. Here are a few examples.

For males:

        r0b3rt    (robert)
        h4ck3r    (hacker)
        j|zm      (jizm)
        b4ddass    (badass)
        born2h4ck (born to hack)
        c00ldud3  (cool dude)
        dec0der   (decoder)

For females:
        b|tch      (bitch)
        sc3newh0re (scene whore) - This one is especially elite.
        barbi3     (Barbie)

These are way cool names. If people seeing you use something like this they will ph33r (fear) you. Other ideas for names include coming up with sweet ways to incorporate computer parts into your nickname. Heh, take mine for instance. I call myself "ramdac". WTF is that? Random Access Memory Digital [to] Analog Converter. See? I rule. I don’t rule so much as to warrant changing a letter for a number though. I’m not that good. I don’t qualify for the esteemed position of "Script Kiddie".

Please feel free to use these as a model for your nickname. These are good candidates for those who would consider themselves to be "l33t". It’s also good to use little designer marks around your name. Here’s an example:

         "(¯`·._(¯`·._(¯`·._ This site hacked by ~{ c00ldud3 }~ _.·´¯)_.·´¯)_.·´¯)"

See? Holy crap! Cool isn’t it? People will see that and say "woah, that dude is crazy-go-nuts". There are tons of other ways to come up with cool names, but it’d be a boring read. Lets move on shall we?

2. You must be using kazaa lite. If you’re still using The original Kazaa you have just disqualified yourself. You’re no longer a script kiddie. You are now a straight up lamer. You know it. Your friends know it. Move on and forget about the script kiddie lifestyle. 

3. If you use mIRC You MUST be using a script that someone else wrote, and it must include things like nuking people and desynching capabilities. If it doesn’t, you should be ashamed for calling yourself a script kiddie. This is probably the most important rule of being a script kiddie. 

4. You must belong to a "group" or a "clan". Its like your support group. Without them you are nothing, but With them you are l33t. You must travel in packs and give yourselves a name. The less descriptive and more evil your name is, the better. 

5. Nowadays everyone has a website. Your group needs one too. You should ONLY use black as your background color, and only use system fonts. Oh, and please make sure that you have ascii art on your website somewhere– it is badass! The better you are at ascii art, the cooler poeple will think you are. Hell, if you can make words with ascii, I will bow down to you myself. 

6. Last but not least, you need tools and virii. What would you be without your tools? Here are some you might need:

  IP Spoofers
  Ident Spoofers
  link lookers
  port scanners
  icmp flooding programs
  port bombers
  UDP Flooders
  an assortment of VB DLLs
  mail bombers
  DCC nukers
  The original Win Nuke
  back orifice
  worms and evil macros

7. Just as a note. Chances are, if you yourself can program in C, C++ (and i don’t mean just a "hello world" program), or assembly then chances are you are not a script kiddie. It is possible, but it is quite doubtful that you are a script kiddie. Sorry.

I hope you have learned a bit about script kiddies today. If you feel that I have left something out, please Email me with your additions and I will add them to this document. Please make "Script Kiddie Addition" as your subject line.